Control – why do we think we need it?

If we could list the one thing that causes the most anger, the most frustration, the most dissatisfaction, and is the biggest barrier to success, it would be our need for control.

As people we have developed unhealthy definitions of control.  I have a plan to cover all possible instances.  He is able to deal with anything.  She is a total task master. 

Control does not mean being able to plan well or be able to deal with multiple tasks or inputs.  It means being able to predict and impact other people’s decisions, reactions, and moods.  

Why is it we think we can control other people?  Why do we want to?

Instead why not prepare for each task with an understanding that others will react.  Be ready for what common objections and reactions will be and be confident to address the ones you didn’t expect.  Did others see something you missed?  How can you adapt?

You will quickly realize the tait you seek to be successful, prepared and to achieve what you want is in fact adaptability and not control.  Learn to be able handle and adapt to what coworkers, friends, for and life in general throws at you and others will envy the control you have over you life.   That is until you let them in on our secret that control doesn’t exist.

To adaptability and beyond!

Harness your Positivity

We all know positive thinking can make us stronger and more successful. How do we instil this habit into our daily work life?  Simple!  It’s done with themes and language.

Now you are probably all having flashbacks to elementary school English class as you read this but the advice is solid. Adding a theme to days and weeks and months can change your perspective and allow positive thoughts to explode into your mind and out into your work performance.

Start by labelling your difficult days to things like Marvellous Monday.  Theme your week with themes Productivity Week.  Then move to theme months with names like Miraculous May. Yes, alliteration helps!

Constantly referring to chunks of time this way will reframe the way you think and in turn make your outlook more positive and your life that much easier at home and at work.

When you stat, be sure to use language that is positive and that resonates with what you are trying to change your viewpoint towards.  For language ideas Google ‘positive words’ and you will find great sites full of alphabetical lists of inspiration.  Here are a few of our favourites:

Positive Word Search

Positive Word List

Verbalize what you are doing so others are aware. This will keep you accountable and encourage others to adopt the nomenclature doubling the positive possibilities.  Make this a team effort and create a calendar to support your efforts.

We’ve been experimenting with this the past few months and have engaged the help of friends and family to test our theory.  All of us have found our positivity increased as did our resilience, our productivity and our sense of work/life balance.  Some of you may say this is only anecdotal evidence only.  We say what do you have to lose!

Plus we are certainly not alone in this thinking.  To pass on even more inspiration we’ve pasted a few of our favourite positivity quotes:

“Man often becomes what he believes himself to be. If I keep on saying to myself that I cannot do a certain thing, it is possible that I may end by really becoming incapable of doing it. On the contrary, if I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it at the beginning.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi

“The greatest discovery of all time is that a person can change his future by merely changing his attitude.” ~ Oprah Winfrey

“The mind is everything.  What you think you become.” ~Buddha

Wishing you the very best for the rest of your Meaningful, Magnificent, Majestic, Marvelous, Miraculous, Magical, Mindful, Mind-blowing, Memorable, Motivational, and Magnetic May!